The snow was gently falling as I watched my oldest daughter step off the school bus. For the past month Ricque knew that something was up in our home. She saw her Mom and Dad having serious discussions and Pastor Jim had been over a couple of times to talk and pray. As she walked through the front door I shouted “So, are you ready to hear your Dad’s story?” Ricque responded with an enthusiastic “Yes”.
Several minutes later she appeared in the living room with two hot chocolates and sat down across from me. For the next hour I looked my little girl (now 18) in the eyes and shared with her the secret that I had dragged through three different decades.
I explained to Ricque that it’s usually during the college years that many young adults find themselves compromising their core beliefs and values. However, that wasn’t the case for her Dad. For the most part, my college years were filled with a generous amount of bible study, a lot of prayer and most importantly, an abundance of Christian fellowship. My Prodigal Son journey took place after I graduated.
I shared with Ricque that in my late 20’s I gradually strayed off God’s straight and narrow path which resulted in a series of sexual relationships, pregnancies and subsequent abortions. When I was all finished speaking, Ricque looked at me and softly said “Dad, there’s nothing you could have said that would have made me love you any less”. I silently prayed “Thank you Jesus, that’s exactly what I needed to hear”.
For years I couldn’t bring myself to share this part of my life with anyone. The shame, fear and anxiety were just too great. As the years passed it became increasingly more difficult to consider telling my story since I’d become a licensed professional counselor and popular morning drive radio personality for a Christian station.
Satan had convinced me that if I ever told anyone about my past sins that I’d be ridiculed and rejected. As it turned out, the complete opposite occurred. The friends I shared my story with were great listeners, non-judgmental, caring, supportive, understanding and encouraging. I also noticed something very unique happen. Many of the people I shared my story with ended up telling me dark secrets of their own (including abortion) that they had never told anyone. It appears, that after hearing my testimony and seeing how authentic and transparent I was willing to be, it gave them the inspiration and courage to make their own bold move.
Research indicates that by age 40 one in four women have had an abortion and the fact is that many of them are sitting in our church pews broken and silent. It is my position that the same can be said of the men. What about the post-abortive fathers guilt, anger and emotional scars? Many of these fathers are as hurt as the mothers. It’s time for the church to open it’s eyes as well as it’s hearts and arms to these wounded men. They need assistance to break their chains of secrecy, seek godly professional counsel and find true healing.
I praise God that my story didn’t just end with the senseless loss of my babies. Romans 8:28 is so incredible: “All things work together for good for those who love the lord and are called according to his purpose.” Not some things, not most things, but ALL things. God took my terrible decisions and circumstances and miraculously turned them into beautiful blessings.
After repenting of my sins and rededicating my life to Christ I led an unwed mother to the Lord. It was Ricque’s mom. I told Jeannie that I’d marry her and adopt Ricque (then 4) on the condition that I’d have a vasectomy before the wedding and we would never have any children together. Although she had dreams of one day having more babies, Jeannie loved me enough to accept my drastic decision.
Through being a daddy to Ricque and experiencing the many blessings of fatherhood, God changed my heart about never wanting children. While my first vasectomy reversal procedure was not a success, the second one was. Jeannie immediately became pregnant, however she miscarried three days before Mothers Day. God eventually gave us the desires of our hearts, two healthy and beautiful children, Faith Maddison and Ross Bradley. Ricque was finally blessed with the siblings that she always dreamed of and prayed for.
I humbly share my story with hopes that the multitude of post-abortive fathers (many of them in our churches) will make their own bold move to share their story, run to God and receive the grace and mercy that only He can give.
End bar: Besides being a licensed counselor and accomplished speaker, Mark Morrow is also a professional stand-up comedian. God has uniquely equipped Mark to help others overcome the power of their secrets and recognize the impact of abortion and importance of abstinence.
Mark is available for speaking engagements and can tailor his testimony/message/comedy for Pro-Life Events, Conferences, Banquets, Churches, Retreats, Music Festivals, Christian Schools…
To inquire about bringing Mark B. Morrow M.A., NCC, LPC to speak at your event call: (814) 734-3377